Decisions... Nobody fancies them....

i guess i have come to a standpoint in my life whereby certain decisions have to be made... regardless of whether i like them or not... sucks man...

Firstly, i think i am going to stay in camp... kinda logical if you think about it... well, minus the boredom of course... but the perks are that i save quite a bit on transport, dun bother so much about going out at night... and the biggest catch of it all.... i can never be late for work!!! Considering the recent financial woes(just one of the many problems)i've been having....that does not sound like too bad of an idea....Hmmmm....Come to think about it, the less time i'm in the house, the less time i'll be on the computer, the less time i'll have to turn on all my lamps, the less time i'll use my electrical appliances, the more i will save on the damn PUB utilities bill.... *smiles to himself*

Secondly, my damn handphone bill is driving me over the wall!!! imagine having to pay a damn bill of nearly $300 + bucks every month!!! and i personally consider it low if it reaches below $200... so, i have bought a new sim card with a cheaper plan that suits me more... having to pay less but caters more towards how i use the damn phone... just figuring out when i should start using it... cuz need to update everybody first... dun worry, all of u will hear your phone beeping soon enuf.... :)

And last but certainly not least, i'm gonna change the way i am... just spoke to robbo last night... he was telling me about how he was talking to fred, and that they both agreed that if there was one thing about me, i was always very impartial... in both a gd and bad sense... I agree totally with them... (not trying to brag here)and maybe its cuz i'm always telling myself to be a nice guy to whoever i meet... now i'm just asking myself, Why in God's name should i do that for? Mayeb its in my personality... Maybe its just me... But whatever the case is, i think i should change it... Cuz being nice ain't goin to bring u no where... u can be nice to the enemy, but he is still gonna put the bullet through your head when it matters... Over the yrs, i have been through countless incidents whereby this has happened and all i've ever gotten was nothing but a sleazy reputation, forever being cursed at and bad-mouthed by people who dun even know me... even by people who do know me... Thats the biggest problem with us humans... we never seem to go find the reason before reacting... we tend to shoot off the mouth first, realise the mistake, den apologise profusely... Everybody is guilty of it, no matter what they say..At times, cuz of pride, we dun even admit the mistake... Thus, along come 'hurt' and 'pain' to start their duties....

I admit i might not be the best person in the world... I have like one of the shortest tempers around and i get ever so angry easily...I tend to have this tendancy to treat my frens better than i treat my girlfrens... I have a pretty slight ego problem that always stops me from admitting my faults and mistakes. I always do things very rashly, without thinking of the consequences first... At times, i'm awfully insensitive to other's feelings, just because i want to get my point across....I have a VERY BIG sleeping problem. Now, come to think of it, i think i have a VERY BIG eating problem as well... I'm too self centered when it comes to certain things.... I'm way too open for my own gd that wrong things might seem right for me thru my eyes...

My faults... or rather what i can identify to myself... I'm pretty sure a lot of people will have a lot more to say about it...And i'm totally fine with that... Cuz i've been thinking to myself the whole day today... Even after getting into a little fight with edna in the morning...and after thinking about it and sending an sms to apologise for some things i said this morning... This is the final verdict on myself...

I am who i am... Nobody can change me unless i want to change... If you think i should, pls dun tell me its cuz u think its for the better... Screw the better... What is better and what is not? its like saying food that is more expensive and at fancy top class restaurants will naturally taste better than food that is sold at hawker centres... If you do not like anything about me, pls tell it to me in my face... as much as i hate to hear it, the truth hurts right? Dun play sarcastic with me cuz it ain't gonna help anybody including yourself...it'll just show how much of a person u are to others... i'll learn from my own errors and judge for myself if i need to change... i dun need anybody coming up to me and telling me that i should do this... i should do that... Blah Blah... Live your own life first before coming to tell me how i should live mine... Cuz i dare to jolly well say that at 22, i've lived a life not many people have gone through... Or even dare to go through... With the shitty decisions that i make, life can only be a rollar coaster ride for me... You might have lived a life that have different experiences from me... Fine... I'll salute you to that... But nobody is the same 2 people... everybody will have their own different opinions of things... What u like might not be what others might like... Live with it... Cuz if u can't, den you need a therapist... Cuz the world ain't always gonna go your way...

Pls dun be mistaken when u read this... I'm not refering to anybody... Maybe i'm just thinking out loud but i'm seriously not refering to anybody... If u think otherwise, den all i can say is that i've already explain myself and if u refuse to listen and choose to believe what u percieve, den good for u...

After this, from next week on, i'll prolly change my number and move into camp...Got a new job as a hermit...hehe... If any body needs to look for me, just leave me a tag... It was nice knowing all of you... My blood will always have traces of those who were involved in my life one way or another... Take care and God bless to all... I'm outta here.....