Amanda & Andi 

Dongli & Jane 

My make-shift cake...hehe... Lurve it!!! 

At Canadian 2 for 1 pizza...  

hours to go.....

here i am, sitting at home, blasting music.... Took half the day and tomorrow off....great weather.... nice and sleepy...

I'm less than 12 hours away from turning 22... still feels the same to me... Come to think of it, i wonder how it'll be in 22 yrs time?

I wouldn't say i've lived these past 22 years of my life to the fullest, but then again, i would not trade the joys and experiences i've gained for anything in the world...

I remember the first time i had a crush on this girl... that was like when i was 14 i think...kay it was a bit late i know, but i was from an all boy school... so contact with girls was like sacred..hehe...anyways, she was from church... nothing ever did work out, cuz i never had the balls to actually go talk to her... hehe... now as i look back, i wonder, if i did go talk to her, would it have made a diff?

Maybe...

i've never been as outspoken and noisy as i am now... when i was 14, i was kinda like the real quiet guy... small & silent.... it was throughout the years in church and especially in the choir that i grew out of my shell and learned that if i dun speak, basically nothing ever will happen...so here i am...hehe... still small, but noisy as hell... hehe :P

Now i shudder at the thought of turning a year older... the uncertainties...the thoughts of maybe this might be my last day on earth... the things that i've not done... well, maybe i should not think like that... Hmmm....

Basically, i've devised a list of things that i hope will change until my next birthday next year... hopefully, some of it will happen....

- Get my Dip (FINALLY!)
- Get my liciense( Soon as i stop being lazy....)
- Quit smoking (Gotta do it, my niece is coming out at the end of the year... Dun wanna be a bad example..)
- Be more patient
- Treasure everybody and everything

Shall not be greedy and wish for too many things... guess this will do for now... Dman it!!! looks like a lot of work needs to be done..... Haiz....

Right now, actually the only thing that i wish for is the same thing i've always been wishing for(cept for maybe the last 2 years)... that is to spend it with the person i love... just the 2 of us... at the beach... on a break-water... staring at the stars and dreaming away...

Sounds so drama right? well, its just kinda nice to start dreaming once in a while... shall not venture into the unhappy... over that stage already...

Well, however it is i celebrate this birthday, i guess i should be thankful... that people still remember... that i can celebrate... for all the things that happened that gave me a reason to live, to find the reasons...Man, this is getting depressing...

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy i am happy

I'm MAD!!! :P

Mid Life Crisis

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year
or two, but then get scared because you barely
know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you
have ever met, and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones. What
you don't recognize is that they are realizing that
too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are
going to have to start at the bottom and that
scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more
than usual because suddenly you realize that you
have certain boundaries in your life and are
constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are
insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and
cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
alone and scared and confused. Suddenly,
change is the enemy and you try and cling on to
the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
past is drifting further and further away, and there
is nothing to do but stay where you are or move
forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better. Or maybe you love someone but love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to
look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to
look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions
over and over, and talk with your friends about the
same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself... and while winning the
race would be great, right now you'd just like to be
a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading
this relates to it. We are in our best of times and
our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to
figure this whole thing out.

Bloody 21 km...

Wah... Today had to wake up at 3 am in the morning just to go for the damn half marathon.... wah shack man.... hehe...

Met my aunt carole amongst the whole crowd of people... a bit shocked actually... like i had no choice and she so on.... hehe... anywayz, finished the damn run (or rather for me, it was more literally a stroll in the park) in around 3 hours... not bad... hehe... not conditioned to run la... no training what so ever so i personally know cannot tahan one...hehe....

Died in the afternoon......

TownHouse 2

Just got up from the WORST hangover in my 21 yr existense..... AWWWWW!!!!! My damn head hurts....

Went for the exam mass yesterday at chiurch... After that, went down to Town House 2, the place where debz is working, for its opening... FREE BOOZE!!!! its no wonder why everybody went.. Roch, chris,amanda, gab and joanne P went as well... we met ben and delvin there as well... Basically, we drank and danced till we were all gone... GONE!!!! by about 1, i was basicaly outside the place lying there like a dead corpse... chris and gab had to send me home... So paiseh man...hehe....

uh Oh...

i'm telling you.. today is insurance agent day... either that or the army uniform is a real insurance agent magnet.... hehe..

met up with one of my (many) insurance agents today...and whilst taking a smoke, another insurance agent came up to me... i mean, what do i have written on my face? I NEED INSURANCE? hehe... anyway, being the stupid, polite guy that i am, talked to him for a while and kindly obliged to everything he said... Man i hate myself...

Ran into edna whilst waiting for my insurance agent... well that was an awkward incident... Hmmm.. just kinda makes me wonder... Why? I mean, we're supposed to be frens right? maybe its me... i should open up my mouth more... NAH!! later i say something wrong den end up fighting again...

Anyways, can't wait for this weekend to be over... Damn army half marathon is on sunday... the thought of having to run the damn 21km makes my knees weak... And the thought of having to get up so damn early is even like worse....

MY DAMN LAVA LAMP IS SPOIL!!!! :( The stupid bulb ain't bright enough...or rather hot enough... so much so that it only heats up the damn wax till a certain level and it gets stuck there... DAMN IT!!! oh well, looks like have to get another bulb....

I think i'm not doing any better now den i was a few months back... in fact honestly if you ask me, i'm still at the same spot.... Maybe now, i've learnt to appreciate my frens more, though the same empty feeling still lingers around... Well, there is only so much i can do to curb it... I guess i just have to let it flow...

I'm gonna be 22 in exactly a week... honestly, i dun feel a thing about growing a year older... not excited... not happy...

Edna : "So how u gonna celebrate your birthday this year?"

Me : "Celebrate? for what? Nothing to celebrate what..."

Yes, this was what i said to her this afternoon...

Come to think of it, we would have been together for 2 yrs, had we not broken up... Another thing to add to the big list of IFs...

Weekend....

Had a pretty short weekend... Was on duty in camp on sat... missed the wedding as well as choir...

You know, i think im beginning to see the flaws of this 5 day work week system... usually on saturdays, i still have to go back to work for at least half a day... and if i'm on duty, at least there is something for me to do... As i found out last weekend, there is absolutely nothing for me to do on saturdays... Well, thats a new feeling.... and a real boring one, i might add.... Damn, talk about the time passing sloely....

Anyways, met pat & the rest of the kids on sunday after their class for lunch... this bunch of kids really making me feel like an overgrown teenager..Hey not that i'm complaining yet or anything... So cute to hear them 'ooooo' and 'aahhh' about everything... hehe..

Had to help melissa pack her bag as she was going for OBS and unable to squeeze everything into her bag... Being the 'Army' fella, basically i solved her problems by taking all the stuff out and repacking it over again...hehe... really feel that she needs a bigger bag though...

After tat, followed Pat to Woodlands to help her mum change cloths at some hop at Woodlands Civic Centre... not bad, the stuff they have there... pretty interesting indian stuff.. Anyways, just as we wanted to leave for Amanda's place, a 'storm' broke out... Ahhhh Crap!!! we waited at the libary a while before deciding that it was redundant.. So we decied to make a run for it... Hehe, ended up walking in the rain across, so much so that poor Pat had to change into one of the new skirts she had just exchanged for... That was damn hilarious man..

Anyways, ended up at Amanda's place... and she's right.. her room is messier than mine... I feel like such a loser man...And to think i take so much pride and joy in the mess that i create in my room...hehe... Guess its time to work harder... (Though i do know that Carole is going to kill me the moment she reads this...) Stayed there all the way before having to rush Pat home before her mother decided to slaughter her... hehe...

Roch dropped by later to watch soccer... Best part, my brother in law brought back some popiah stuff( Did i mention his family is in the Popiah business?) and my mum was like on a popiah fest... She made a total of 5 rolls for me and roch... We freaked basically... I mean, we haven't eaten popiah in a few months, but after this, i dun think we would want to eat popiah for the next few months.....hehe...

ok guess thtas all i'll blog for now.. waiting for roch and gab to come over to watch the man u and liverpool game... I tell u, man u is so going to LOSE!!!!!! Haha... Ciaoz!!

Bored...

got out from work pretty early today... considering i mugged the whole morning to finish my stuff.... not bad.... it was den i got sooooooooooooo bored..... hehe.... was talking to julia on the way home...

Den it struck me.... i shall go shopping!!!! GROCERY SHOPPING!!!!!

walked around cold storage for half an hour..... here's what i bought....

1 packet of Ruffles potato chips
1 packet of Doritos Nachos
1 pet bottle of coke
6 small packets of 'Just Juice' orange juice
1 bowl of instant noodles
1 packet of super 3-in-1 coffee
1 bottle of Febreeze odour remover
1 bottle of Nivea Deodarant spray
1 packet of 12 Energizer batteries
1 bottle of salsa
1 packet of hazelnut chocs
1 packet of fruit & nuts chocs
A 6 pack of Stella Artois

Man!!! i sound like i'm going for a personal party.... hehe...talk about the simple pleasures in life man.... bad thing is the cost... hehe...Spent a grand total of $71.23 for all that shit.... hehe.... :P

Mizunderstood

I feel really misunderstood.... Only my closest frens seem to understand the words that are coming out of my mouth... Some others, seem to think that all i do is complain and moan and groan and bitch about it... You know how sad that is?

Ahhh what the fuck, dun give a damn... from now on, i'll only help those who ask for my help... Always try to be nice guy and get so very misunderstood... Carole & Amandy are right man...

u>invasion
hellos! you have been invaded by pat!! pats kinda bored..so shes helping mel to update his blog because its so boring seeing the same thing whenever ppl come to this site! heehees... mels not blogging causee....maybe nothing to blog? i mean i always see him online! so mel. no excuses. blog please. even tho theres nothing to blog about. hmm. yupps. check out the new pictures in multiply people! yeah. thats all it guess. im so free. and im still bored. ah wells. byebye. have fun.

Love is only a feeling....again...

Having been consumed by work for the last few days and possibly the next few weeks, i think i'm starting to het that 'Redundant Life Cycle' thingy again... and plus the fact that i seem to have no time for anything else at all, the definition lonely comes into play....

For the next 2 weeks, i'll be in and out of mindef preparing for my next job(other than ndp 2005 of course)..sucks man... gd thing is that bukit panjang is way easier to go to than jurong camp....

Life's sucky...though all is not that bad... still have the choir, whom i cherish every minute with on saturdays.... they seem to be my only source of encouragement...hmmmm... thats getting kind of sad dun u think? oh well, whatever makes me happy...

Damn Army.....

ok....just found this out last week... for all those fo you who understand army talk, you will know what i mean... for those who don't, i'll explain it in further detail....

The damn army just changed its rules and now, my hopes of becoming the youngest ever CSM (Company Sergant Major or Encik) has been dashed...(The record is currently 25 i think) Currently, i'm like 21 going on 22 and was due for my damn course this week but sadly, i was told that i had to be at least 25 to qualify for the course... I was like WTF? as far as i knew, there were never such stipulations up until now...Damn it... Anyways, den i had the second bit of this horrid news... that u had to be at least 27 or 28 before being able to serve your CSM tour... I mean, by the time i reach that age, i would be out of service already.... and they tell me i must serve that damn tour as an NS appointment....Haiz...Oh boy, there goes my dreams... Stoopid Army.... WTF!!!

Just Another Day in Paradise

Well, here i am.... sitting here on an island.... sun is sunny...waves are wavey....

Gonna go back to camp in about exactly half an hour or so.... its gonna be a long night man... gonn ahave to read up about ASP, JSP & PHP.... damn NDP.... making me study harder than i did for my o's...

Been rather down lately... god knows why... thinking about life's stupid moments again... its kinda funny how everything chnages all around us... o well, dun think i wanna go there... dun wanna bore people to death...

Anyways, thanks pat for helping me change mi blog skin.... now, i feel 'complete'... hehe