Problem after Problem, Time after Time..

As the heading suggests...

Work tops it all off.. Having negative emotions towards your work is a really dangerous thing.. Being a person who firmly believes in "passion for the job", it certainly doesn't help that work has been worst than a bitch of late.. Dun get me wrong, in certain ways, i love my job.. No where else gives you free lunches, a place to sleep and confirmed bonuses... But the catch to it really is beginning to feel as though it ain't worth the money..

To make things worse, some of the closest people i am to at work are leaving, just as i plan to do in a few years time.. However, the thought of them leaving unleashes this little tingy of jealousy within me.. When would it be my turn?? Can i honestly last till the end of my contract, the way things are going now?? I'm really kinda caught in between to begin with.. My bosses are ok, not too demanding and certainly rather understanding toward my cause.. But i guess its the duration of the time i've been on this job that is really starting to take its toll on me.. I've always been a roamer, a person who can never sit down for too long.. And certainly this part of my personality is telling me that i can't stay on this job forever.. I can't picture myself doing that too.. Guess in certain ways, just have to grit my teeth and finish off what i started..

As though that wasn't enough, to add to all that, time hasn't really been a good friend of mine.. Been finding myself not being able to spend enough time with my girlfriend, my family and my friends.. In fact, trying to squeeze out time for them can result in a whole reshuffle of schedules.. Ain't really gettin used to that...

To top it all off, i've finally realised that i've been suffering from insomnia for quite a while now.. it started with late nights working so it wasn't that bad.. Nowadys, in fact for the last year or so, i find myself having difficuly sleeping at night, be it whether i have something important on the next day.. Tossing and turning all night long makes it all the more worst.. Thoughts enter my head vividly and leave as soon as they arrive.. As a result, everything suffers from a chain effect from that.. Have really tried to force myself to re-adapt back but seem to be failing more often than not.. Worse than trying to quit smoking man..

Got to get my thoughts back in check and especially my life.. It just seems to be going downhill.. But then again, having lived this ridiculously colourful life of mine, have really taught myself that suffering never lasts forever.. Its only a matter of when..

Maybe i SHOULD see a doctor instead, other than the dentist that i finally decided to go..