*The Story of the 8 Monkeys*

(This is based on an actual experiment conducted in the UK) :

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading
to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed
with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey
attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be
sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.

Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

Then one of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the
room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other
monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb
the ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why.
however, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again
attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out
of him.

This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the
receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other
monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new
monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now
in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water.

None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically
beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

*..................and that is how most companies' policies get established.*

Sometimes, it feels like this at the workplace. Employees just do certain
procedures because others are doing the same....without knowing why they do
them and whether what they have been doing all along can be improved or
changed. They say its the policy. At times, it feels it's just the
standard practices that have been passed down from employee to employee.
Nothing else.

My Pictorial Holidays...

What better way to end the year with bad hair and a screwed up face??

Jennifer's House...

Christmas at the Yaps...

The day before Christmas...


The Angelus Choir caroling at Orchid Country Club..

A big fat hole in my pocket...

This is the car I'm getting... the exact model and exact colour... Finally, after so many years of planning to get a damn car, its finally coming.. no more resolutions for the next 5 yrs at least!!!! ha ha!!

No doubt it'll only be a weekend car but thankfully, this lifestyle of mine suits it perfectly... ha ha!!! if all goes well, then it should be here by the end of next month.. time to start the countdown...

Next up on the list will be to save enough money to get back to sch... damn degree courses are costing a bomb nowadays but haiz, no choice la...

Gosh!!! haven't done any Christmas shopping yet.. Should really start soon though..

These days are the best.. where there is no work and everything revolves around lazing at home and wondering what to do for the day... though i must admit that it kinda takes some getting used to..

next up on the calendar, CHRISTMAS!!!

I'm Back.. Thank God!!!

The trip was all in all a disappointment if you ask me..
No doubt it was a change in environment but sadly, nothing that i envisioned that it would be.. work, work and more work kept me busy throughout and when i finally had time after everything was over, was forced to stay in, feeling like some prison cell, for like 4 days., Imagine in a foreign country with nothing to do, about 1 hours drive away from civilisation, with no vehicle to get there what so ever, for 4 freakin days.. was close to crazy by the end of the first day.. now looking back, really have no idea how the hell i survived that...

anyways, its great to be back.. missed all my frens, my family, my beloved girlfren and so many more to mention..

and also, its time to try to get the car!!!! hope santa's listening...

now only to survive the few days that i have to go back to work..

oh btw, anybody interested in taking up rock climbing???

Till 9 Dec

Take care of yourselves till i get back...

I'll try to coax Santa and some kangaroos back...

Take care yall

Counting Down The Days

Its only about a week more before i fly to Australia...
its great if you're going there for a holiday, but sadly, i do not have that luxury.. I'm flying there to work.. Damn it...

Well, whole long laundry list of things for me to do before i fky.. Have to submit my stuff by this week and i still haven't even started packing.. OhMIGOsh!!!! oh well, knwoing myself, i'll probably pack light... i mean, how much clothes can you possibly bring for three weeks??? hopefully, i don't contradict myself on this... hehe

Life's kinda good now that i've finally gotten that damn driving license of mine.. Six bloody years of taking it.. (Hey, stop laughing), must be a record of sorts though i must say a pass on my first attempt for the actual practical is a considerable achivement... hehe.. Looking at a whole list of cars now within my budget.. Hopefully if all goes well,can settle the payment by the time i get back frm Australia den i can zip around in my very own car!! so exciting.. Goodness, feel like a small kid now with a new toy to play with.. hehe..

On a more serious note, next immediate task in hand would be to park my sorry little ass back in school... looking at a degree course in MDIS.. Hopefully the payment won't be as much i think it would be.. Really have to start watching what i spend if i plan to buy a car an study as well...

Clubbing!!!! i wan to go clubbing!!!! but after the MOS experience, i have learnt never to open bottles again even if i have a wallet fullof cash.. That night really killed me, now looking back on hindsight.. Even though, i must admit, had a great time with the company i had that night, still, the suffering at the end of the month really doesn't seem to fir the bill completely... oh well, some lessons are probably menat to learnt this way.. hehe.. just take it as it comes and TRY not to do it again lor...

Dun think i've been spending enough time with everybody altely.. Work is being its usual self, taking up almost all the time that i have, leaving me only 2 days to try to fit everybody's schedule in.. so sorry if i haven't been able to meet up with anybody at all, promise after Australia, Christmas period will be a blast!!!

And lastly, i'm sorry darling if i've been neglecting you for a while... I can always hide behind the excuse of work, but i think i'm mostly to blame as well.. Promise i'll try to spend more time with you after i get back ok?? I LOVE YOU!!!

Did i mention that i'm in the office now taking a break??

I WAN CAR!!!!!!

Time to save...

I wan to get my damn car by december...

I WAN!!!!!

Watching the most loved game...

watching soccer is, i must say, a most frustating thing...
especially when the team that u support plays like shit, the other team seems to be an entire team of hollywood actors, that upon slightest contact, drops on the floor like as though they've been hit by a sniper..

On hindside, england are very unlucky.. Gerrard the man ain't playing, they chose of all moments to change a formation, and concede two freakily unlucky goals... man, suddenly it feels like the sunday soccer league that i was playing over the weekend could produce better action..

You would never believe the second goal...

Twenty Fuckin Four

It came and went...

Its official.. I'm twenty fuckin four...
Old as a bird man..

The eve was spent drinkin at Charmaine's place... loads of fun till the host decided to bless the house with her lovely puke... all in all it was great fun...

The day itself was generally a real lazy day... didn't go out till the evening when i met corrinne... made our way down to East Coast for a generaly great drinking session...

The venue was ok but the company was first class.. no words to describe it actually..
I sincerely would like to thank all who made it down..

Deep down inside though, i do feel a tad bitter about those who didn't make it down.. not that i'm pissed with them or anything.. i'm sure they have their reasons for not being able to make it, but still it does leave a wound deep within...

I just hope they all know how much they mean to me, near or far... Hopefully its a feeling i never experience again cuz i know its something i dun ever wan to be guilty of...

twenty fuckin four...

nice ring to it...

Depressingly Older...

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Twenty fuckin 4...

Time flies.. halfway to retirement....

One of the less common days...

I'm sick...

not in the head.. but sick.. cough cough, throat hurts like crazy sick, u know what i mean??

Gotta go to the doc to get some medicine man.. my throat is killing me..

Least dun have to work today... its kinda like a good and bad thingy.. good knowing that i dun have to travel my ass halfway round singapore just to get to work and be totally exhausted.. bad in a way that i've still tons of work yet to be done... think i'm becoming a partial workaholic...

Went for a driving lesson last week for the first time in a long time..
my test is next month and really dun think i'm getting enough practice...
and as a testiment to how bad it was, here's what my instructor told me...

Instructor: You are driving very confidently, BUT you have to check your blind spots, your blah blah blah......

Think i'm playing too much Need for Speed... :(

The age of the life less led by many...

I think age is finally beginning to catch up with me...
All my life, i dun think i've ever things i was suppose to be doing at the age..
take for example, my career choice.. who goes to the door of the government and asks to be enlisted in the army?? At the age of 16, whereby everyone else in the right frame of mind is slogging for thier 'O's, i nicely go into the army and serve my country.. Sounds patriotic?? my ass.. at 18, the whole world is enjoying their youth, going out to partys and getting drunk, i'm slogging this little butt of mine in the army, playing 'mother' to a bunch of guys who have no choice but to serve their country... At 23, i get a rank that most would associate to a guy in their late 20's..
Not that i'm complaining really.. this job has taught me many things, and moulded me into somebody i never thought i could be.. but as of many things, there is always a price to pay.. and this price for me, is the fact that i will never be able to live the life that everyone else went through...
I will never be able to tell anyone how poly life was.. just to name a point.. as little a deal as it moght be, it contributes to a whole bigger picture...

All these thoughts in my head seem to be permantly stuck there.. and its really affecting me in more ways than one..

realise how i must be sounding like a guy who has some permant disability..
well i'm halfway there i reckon..

Do we really see all around us??

The weekend was welcomed with open arms for me.. Afterwhat seems like an eternity of a week at work, it was much welcomed for me to relax.. however, on friday, i guess the toll of work got the better of me..

I'm so sorry babes for throwing a kiddy fit that night.. Guess frustrations at work have been building up to cause me to blow up a minor fit that night.. Hope u guys will forgive me.. :)

We often underestimate the importance of friendship.. So often we have frens we have known for donkey years but never seem to get around knowing them better... And so often when they are gone, only den do we realise what a fren he/she could have been.. Too late to make amends..

Angelo, i never really knew you well.. Despite having known you for yrs, we were always more of associates.. Frens who knew each other via other frens.. Now that its too late, all i can only say is that you will be dearly missed by all.. Your presence in the group will always be missed no matter what.. And we know you are in a better place now with the Lord..



Frome left: Angelo, Carole and Rene

Angelo
(1985 - 2006)

Problem after Problem, Time after Time..

As the heading suggests...

Work tops it all off.. Having negative emotions towards your work is a really dangerous thing.. Being a person who firmly believes in "passion for the job", it certainly doesn't help that work has been worst than a bitch of late.. Dun get me wrong, in certain ways, i love my job.. No where else gives you free lunches, a place to sleep and confirmed bonuses... But the catch to it really is beginning to feel as though it ain't worth the money..

To make things worse, some of the closest people i am to at work are leaving, just as i plan to do in a few years time.. However, the thought of them leaving unleashes this little tingy of jealousy within me.. When would it be my turn?? Can i honestly last till the end of my contract, the way things are going now?? I'm really kinda caught in between to begin with.. My bosses are ok, not too demanding and certainly rather understanding toward my cause.. But i guess its the duration of the time i've been on this job that is really starting to take its toll on me.. I've always been a roamer, a person who can never sit down for too long.. And certainly this part of my personality is telling me that i can't stay on this job forever.. I can't picture myself doing that too.. Guess in certain ways, just have to grit my teeth and finish off what i started..

As though that wasn't enough, to add to all that, time hasn't really been a good friend of mine.. Been finding myself not being able to spend enough time with my girlfriend, my family and my friends.. In fact, trying to squeeze out time for them can result in a whole reshuffle of schedules.. Ain't really gettin used to that...

To top it all off, i've finally realised that i've been suffering from insomnia for quite a while now.. it started with late nights working so it wasn't that bad.. Nowadys, in fact for the last year or so, i find myself having difficuly sleeping at night, be it whether i have something important on the next day.. Tossing and turning all night long makes it all the more worst.. Thoughts enter my head vividly and leave as soon as they arrive.. As a result, everything suffers from a chain effect from that.. Have really tried to force myself to re-adapt back but seem to be failing more often than not.. Worse than trying to quit smoking man..

Got to get my thoughts back in check and especially my life.. It just seems to be going downhill.. But then again, having lived this ridiculously colourful life of mine, have really taught myself that suffering never lasts forever.. Its only a matter of when..

Maybe i SHOULD see a doctor instead, other than the dentist that i finally decided to go..

Nice Guys ALWAYS Finish Last...

"Its really funny how life plays an everlasting game of chess with a one's emotions..
Its always waiting for you to make the next move, waiting for u to screw up big time..
You on the other hand, reluctant to be beaten time and again, struggle consistantly to keep up, preying the next wrong move that might be made...
And to our distinct disadvantage, life can just suddenly send distractions to take control of the situation, thus turning it back towards its favour..
And the sad part is we do not have any trump cards to return the favour what so ever.."


Saw this show today..Though i didn't get a chance to finish watching it, still it was really sad cuz it was one of those "nice guys finish last" kinda shows.. You know, its the worst situation to be in.. Being the nicest person but always ended up being taken advantage of.. Not to say that its done on purpose, but rather subconciously.. It was about this guy who always put others before him, people he loved, people he was willing to sacrifice his life for.. But sadly, life wasn't as fair to him as it should have been.. Already having a distraction of having somebody, he conveniently goes and falls for this other girl who was also attached.. But due to the fact that he was attached, he couldn't possibly fall for the other girl.. Supressing feelings within him, he had no choice but to love from a distance.. Being a good fren but wanting so much more.. As creepy as it sounds, it genuinely touched me on how sincere he was to this girl..

Sadly, it was to here that i had to go..

Must finish watching it though..

This also kinda reminds me of a post i put up a few months back...
This is to all the nice guys out there... Live on my frens!!!

Click here..

I'm Back...

Just arrived back yesterday from Hong Kong...
A great break.. Just exactly how i wanted it...
The company made it all the more better...
Will blog more about it in a few days when i can...
Back to work tommorow.. :(
till den...

The Da Vinci Code

Just watched the show today and i must say, in my opinion of course, it sticks rather closely to the book.. Which is good and bad in both ways if u think about it...
One thing is for certain, it certainly screws around with your mind about your faith (if you are christian), and give you whole new perceptions about Christianity(if you are not).. Oh well, to each his own...

But i do wan to catch some other shows, namely X-Men 3, Over the Hedge and The Wild... CAn't wait man.. Just really hope that work does not bog me down..

O did i mention i'm hopping to Hong Kong this June? Anybody need anything?? Lemme know...

Regret

For the most part of my life, i have based it on one theory.. Do anything u want, but never ever turn back to regret it.. And faithfully, for most of my life, i have followed what i preached... But yesterday, as Noel was leaving or should i say for the most of yesterday evening, i was filled with nothing but the worst feeling that i hate so much...

The man, the legend.. The best bud i ever had.. The guy i grew up with.. The person i could never ever stay angry with.. The most patient fren i ever had.. The one who could always knock sense into me when all in front of me seemed lost... Left for Houston for the next 6 yrs to study to be a vet...

Since the days that i've known him which dates back really to primary sch.. His love and compassion for animals have always been there.. often we spoke about our dreams...and i'm so glad that he's well on his way to fulfilling his.. On the flipside, the bravest move of going abroad all alone, leaving your family and frens and all that you've ever known behind...Those thoughts must have surrounded him when he entered the departure hall.. From his call to JJ about 15 mins later, he sounded sad, almost troubled... we sensed this and felt every emotion that must have been runnning through him at that very moment..

The regret i have is that i never could spend enough time with him... Let alone a dinner... Work bogged me down for the last few months, and crucially the last 2 weeks.. and now, the question really is when is that next time i can even see him again??

Its not forever i know, but time has always been the enemy to most...For it was time that tore us apart right from the beginning.. As JJ put it to me perfectly, we must not make the same mistake again...

My thoughts go out to you bro.. Wherever you might be right now.. its less than 24 hrs but i'm missing u more than ever inm the last few yrs.. I guess its just realisation sinking in... its true reallym you'll never know what u had, or have, till its long gone.. When you do realise its true value, it would have been way too late...

I'm never going to make this same mistake again.. This i swear on my very grave...

See you in Feb at Houston next yr... i will walk there if i have to...

Wat Luck??!!!

Not blogging for a few months has gotten me to realise how busy i've been..
Work, church(stop laughing..) takes up most of my time nowadays... So sorry if i haven't been spending enough time with my friends... I wish i could.. i really do...

Just found out that Noel (My childhood buddy) is flying off to the States on Wed.. He'll be gone for 6 freakin years.. And me, i can't even afford the time to meet him for dinner..

Ashamed really though its not entirely my fault.. Makes you wonder doesn't it??

BTW. so pissed, my tagboard got spamed, so hence the change in skins... :(

Happy Birthday Darling!!!!